Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
honey bunches of taint.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize