My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
