I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
