Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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