I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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