that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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