Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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