that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
