is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
