Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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