I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
look no pants
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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