i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize