i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
