So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
