I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
