How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This toilet bowl is my home.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
