the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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