The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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