Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
