Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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