Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
