Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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