In the future we'll all be gay
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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