12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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