YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
