I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
