She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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