Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
