Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
