I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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