so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
