if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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