i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
