Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize