Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
P.S. I can't hear my feet
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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