If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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