Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
