i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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