operation have a gay friend backfired
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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