we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
