Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
