Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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