Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think people are normalizing furries
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
