Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
