just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
