i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
