trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
