Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
