can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize