you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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