Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
