These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your cock deserves a montage
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
