This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
