Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
