Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
