maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
