drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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