This is not my ceiling
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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