No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize