No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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