what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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